What Do You Want to Do With Your Life?

I had a little "come to Jesus," moment this morning, as my friend Trisha likes to say.  I was thinking about all the "opportunities" that had come my way lately and whether these items really are opportunities or me just flailing blindly around in the pool of life, searching for something to cling to.  I suspect they are a bit of both.

Look at what I've blogged about for the last few days.  Substitute teaching...running a marathon. Hello--where did those come from? There are also some items I haven't blogged about.

In pursuit of the possible side career as a speaker, I'm signing up in August for a Dale Carnegie course. (Trisha warned me it's a cult but I'm aware of that and--frankly--think I would make an excellent cult member. I excel at following directions). A member of my networking group called me yesterday because she thought I was a member of the Greensboro Merchants Association and wanted me to be on her team. I'm not a member but she got me to thinking maybe I should be--more networking means more potential writing and speaking assignments coming my way.  I'm also working my way through Advanced manuals in Toastmasters, trying to earn an advanced speakers designation and just a host of other little things.

My point is, I think I'm grabbing at all these things, hoping one of them will "stick," and I'll figure out what I really want to do to with my life.

I do think writing is my niche. I've no plans to leave that. But almost all of my income comes from magazine writing and while I enjoy it and am good at it, I don't recall ever thinking to myself, "Hey, my life's dream is to be a famous magazine writer."

The problem is I don't know what my life's dream is at this point. Is it teaching? Writing for children? Writing non-fiction books? Humor books? One of the plus/minuses of my personality is I get very excited about whatever is set in front of me. Very good for getting me through projects, but I'm also easily distracted and thrown off track from the end goal--whatever that may be.

I think part of the problem is if I face up to the fact that my "dream" is to, let's say, write books for a living, that may mean I need to refocus my life and give up a lot of what I've been working hard for these past couple of years. Namely, building a reputation as a freelance writer. What if I give up my income, my ego-pleasing "Look--my name is in a magazine!" moments and my columns to stay home and write said book and nothing happens?  Aaaauuugh!  I am not a process person. I am a "let's see the end result" person.

Just talk for now. But we'll see where it leads. Meanwhile, let's throw it open to the crowd. Are you following your life's dream? Do you know what it is? Care to share your process? We're all ears... 

Women Who Inspire Me

I met a fantastic group of women today at the Greensboro Women's Resource Center.  The Center is where I used to work as a Job-Search Program Coordinator for displaced homemakers, and I was there today teaching a class on Networking for the program I used to run.

I wasn't overly enthusiastic about going.  I've got a lot to do to get ready for my trip and really wanted to be at home in front of my computer. But I'm so grateful for having the opportunity to teach this wonderful group of women.  I'd forgotten how inspiring it is to be around the women in this program.  They make an 8-week commitment to attend class 2 days per week to work on all aspects of the job search so it's not an easy program to graduate from.  But every woman there is determined and motivated to change her life and follow her dreams.  Most of these women have so little (materially) but they have huge spirits and hearts and I walked away with an energy buzz just from spending 2 1/2 hours in the same room with them.

It was a wonderful reminder for me as I told them  (and I believe this) that they can accomplish anything they want.  That they are full of talents and passions and purpose.  That if they reach out a little first, the Universe will reach back tenfold.  I was saying to them the words I needed to hear myself.  And the group was so receptive, taking notes and asking questions that showed they were paying attention.  As they got excited about the networking process, I got excited right along with them. 

Having the chance to speak to them today was the best thing I could have had on my schedule.  It reminds me how lucky I am to be doing what I love with support from people I love.  And how important it is to give back and help others climb obstacles and reach their goals, so the chain continues.

Little to Say?

I feel obligated to post something, but I really don't have a lot to say (versus the eye-opening, makes-you-want-to-rethink-your-life-and-be-a-better-person posts I'm famous for).  Still,  I will try. :)

I griped at the contractor via voicemail Tuesday night.  On Tuesday, before they left, I asked the contractor to call my local contractor that night, as he has a key to our house and could arrange to let him in.  That's whey they told me the tile guy had to finish another job in the morning, but would be at my house in the afternoon.  At my request, my  local contractor called at 9:30 Tuesday night to say that he hadn't heard from tile guy.  So I left a message saying "Hey, I don't want my local guy called last minute.  He's got other jobs and I want this planned out to make sure he's available to let you in." Then I said, "And, it was my understanding the tile guy was 'all mine' this week until the job was finished and now he's not even showing up until tomorrow afternoon.  What's going on?"  I told you, I'm on it this time.

So I got home last night and had a message that the guys would be meeting today (Thursday) at 9:30 am.  Fine, but that means no work was done yesterday.  Plus, why does the morning start at 9:30 vs. 8? Yes, he has an hour drive here but lots of people have long commutes and manage to make it in by 8 to work.  Blair leaves the house at 6am every day, so I don't have a lot of sympathy for the "Oh, it's so early" excuse.  Anyway, I just want this bathroom done.  I'm tired of being in a bad mood about it and am getting on my own nerves.

I had a great day yesterday.  I was the THIRD person to arrive at my Triad Networks group, thank you very much, to make up for my embarrassment at being late last week. And these people rock.  I said I'd appreciate any leads on distribution venues for my book--gift stores, jewelry stores, flower shops, hospital gift stores, etc.  I walked out with 9 leads and 5 book sales.  Absolutely stupendous.  It puts me on my game so I can offer them as many good leads in return.

Then we had 15 International students visit our Toastmasters group, and hearing where they were from and their goals was fascinating. I had a power marketing meeting with my friends Pam & Michael, dinner with Blair, and then my children's writers critique group came through in aces for me with dead-on critiques of the first chapter of my book.  So all in all, a good day.

Today I'm teaching a networking class at the Women's Resource Center, picking up my new glasses, and maybe lunch with a friend.  Then home to work, work, work!  I'm going to Chicago this weekend for a long overdue trip to see my mom, sister, nephew, and brother-in-law.  My nephew is 2 1/2 and I haven't seen him in over a year.  I know he's going to look huge to me--he's at the top of the charts for height.

But the thing about going out of town is that even if you're gone for a day, you have to do a weeks worth of work before you leave and a weeks worth after before you feel caught up. So I'm trying to tidy up a multitude of loose ends today and tomorrow so I can leave and enjoy my trip with a clear conscience (And a ball of yarn.  I've started knitting  project #2).  

So, off to face the e-mail monster I go!
 

Deciding What to Say "Yes" or "No" To

I made a decision the middle of last week that I'm dropping the News & Record auto column assignments.  I was asked by the paper in October to write two weekly columns for their Saturday auto page.  One is called "Tire Tracks" and profiles people who have unique, interesting or unusual cars. The other is "At Your Service" and for that I go into dealerships for employee profiles.  Both pieces are very brief - no more than 150 words and a photo--and the pay is good for the work involved.  But it's been bothering me more and more lately that I find myself spending time on assignments and projects I don't enjoy and that aren't enhancing my career.  So I'm looking for ways to cut back and the auto columns were the first to fall under the ax.

I'd been thinking about leaving for a while, but got tied up in the money aspect.  Why give up a sure paycheck? But I'm more resentful every time I find myself begging family and friends to let me know if they hear of anyone with a cool car, or walking into a dealership after I've made an appointment and finding they either forgot and aren't prepared for me or look at me like they have no idea what I'm talking about in being there.  This happened last Wednesday and I just decided, "enough."  The money doesn't make it worthwhile for me.  I'm fortunate enough to be able to select work I enjoy and I'm going to use and appreciate that.

Luckily, my editors have been extremely supportive and even asked if I would still consider freelancing for the News & Record in other areas, which I'm more than happy to do. 

Blair is as always a rock of support.  I've never met someone as unselfish as him.  He just wants me to be happy.  (Although he was teasing me--rightfully so--about regressing again.  We have a running joke that every time I get an advanced degree, a salary increase, or anything beneficial to our household income, I decide "Eh, I don't want to do that.")

Panthers play tonight.  I'm excited about that but more excited because I spent an hour this morning with Melody who got me back on track with my knitting, showing me how to cast on and making me do it over and over until we were both sure I had it down.  So I'm going to get some rows in on the purple practice scarf while the game is on. Meanwhile, I continue to recruit friends for the "Hot Women Who Knit" club that I am intent on forming. So far, I have about 5 takers.  Although maybe I need a club name with a better acronym. HWWK sounds like the hacking sound you make at the back of the throat when preparing to cough up a lugey.  Not really the image I'm looking for for the club.  Have to think on that one.