Blair Makes It Better

I have the same relationship with my husband that many of us have with car mechanics. We take our car in because it's making a funny noise, only the minute the mechanic slides behind the driver's seat, the funny noise disappears and he's left looking at you with an expression of mild concern for your mental well-being. 

Same thing in the Harris house. If you read yesterday's entry, you know I was trapped at home with no phone and no e-mail. I went to yoga last night to calm down and before I left I checked the phone--still open on the other end and we couldn't call out. Blair gets home, picks up the phone, sets it down, and says, "I've got a dialtone."

On the one hand, bless him for fixing the problem. On the other...are you kidding me? There was a problem! There was no dialtone ALL DAY. Please, Mr. Mechanic, I'm not insane and making the noise up. It really was there..

Sigh. Anyway, Blair also fixed e-mail in a jiff. I had deleted a server link and it took less than 5 minutes to restore it. I'm a happy camper this morning with phone and e-mail.

We're still studying the "no signal" problem from our cell phone and cordless phones though. Blair wonders if the wi-fi that came with the new Macs has anything to do with it. When we got the Mac's is pretty much when the phone problems began. I'm going into Verizon today to get a new cell phone and see if that does anything.

Meanwhile, just happy to have returned to the 21st century.

Trapped Without Technology

If anyone is reading this, send the Geek Squad immediately to my home as I have somehow managed to delete, hide, or banish to the outer reaches of the netherworld my outgoing e-mail server. In an attempt (and yes, I should have known better) to fix the problem with my dena@kissmykittybutt.com e-mail account, I somehow managed to set it up so that ALL my e-mail accounts recieve mail, but I can't send messages out. 

Not only that, but the phone saga continues. For those new to this drama, it goes something like this:

The phone rings in my house. I go to answer it but receive a "Welcome. Please wait..." message on my cordless phone. Meanwhile, the answering machine has picked up and VIP is leaving a message for me. I need to talk to VIP so I bound up the stairs like a bunny on crack, only to pick up the upstairs handheld and receive the same message. Augh!

Sometimes I'm allowed to answer the call only to find the phone immediately hangs up on whomever I'm talking to. I turn to my cell phone but guess what? No service! 

So I'm in a house with iffy phones and no outgoing e-mail. As you might have guessed, I am breathing through a paper bag as I type this, assuring myself it will all work out.

The way it will work out is I'll ambush Blair tonight and make him deal with my mistakes. It's one of the little perks that come with being married to me. I refuse, REFUSE, to get on the line with any form of help service. I feel like a dunce and never know the answers to their questions, ("Ma'am, let's start slow. If you could just tell me your server ID and date of primary installation along with in order of age the 5 least successful presidents of our nation, we'll have you back on-line in no time.")

No. Forget it. I'm not calling. We had dinner with friends Saturday night and my friend Pam feels the same. She and I both lose our minds when dealing with tech service. Our preferred method of dealing with a technology issue is to approach our husbands and yell, "The f***ing thing isn't working again!"

I consider myself a modern, capable, self-sufficient woman in most areas of my life but I'm telling you, if not for Blair I think I'd revert back to smoke signals for sending messages. 

Surely it's faster and more reliable than dealing with tech help.

Kiss My Kitty Butt Website Now Operational

It's up! KissMyKittyButt.com, the home page, is now operational. Just a list of chapters at this point, but check out the background--my web designer and I agree that's just begging to be put on a pair of boxers. 

Still no word from the publishers I've sent the book to. Aargh... publishing is a punishingly slow business. But I'm moving forward on marketing and placement for the book regardless. 

Right now I'm consumed with the other cat book for the agent, but soon my attention will turn back to how I can have everyone on planet telling each other to "Kiss My Kitty Butt!"

Be My Web B**CH

I just started reading The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss. Lots to chew on. One suggestion he makes is to rid yourself of work you don't do well and that doesn't directly contribute to your profit line. For example, if it takes you two hours to churn out a decent business letter, is that the best use of your time or could you hire somebody who holds that skill to do it for you?

My area of downfall is anything technology related. Right now, for example, I'm struggling with setting up a new e-mail account. I grabbed "dena@kissmykittybutt.com" from my service provider but I can't get the account to show on my Mac and download mail there. Grrrr.... I'm on hour two of futzing around with this. Good use of my time in an already busy week? I think not. Which has me considering hiring a sort of personal assistant to assist me with all things techie. Or not even assist. Just do them. I call, you do. And I thought of the perfect person.

I called my friend Melody.

"I'm thinking of hiring you to be my web bitch," I said.

And this is why I love Melody. Without missing a beat or knowing what I was talking about she said, "I would love to be your web bitch."

I need to think it through--what exactly I think I would need, would pay be on an hourly or retainer basis, average expected cost, etc. As I move more into book marketing, there is just more to be done that I don't have the skill set for - graphics and banners, Flair on Facebook, logos, e-mail accounts, RSS feeds, website redesign and updates...

Yes, I think I see a web bitch in my future.