New Year's Resolutions for 2010

Long time readers of this blog know that I LUV ME some New Year resolutions. Really, anything in list-format gets me excited and New Year resolutions are the mother of all lists. So without further adieu, here are my resolutions/goals/hopes/dreams for 2010:

REDUCE TV VIEWING. This is a carryover resolution from last year. It worked beautifully until about October, when we slid off the wagon. But we're back on and more strict than ever. We'll record So You Think You Can Dance, Glee, and Modern Family and watch back with no commercials. We're cutting out Biggest Loser (maybe- I waver on this) and Big-Bang Theory. Otherwise, no TV except to watch the occasional movie or football game (Blair) and absolutely no channel flipping. 

SOUP. Yes, you read that right. Soup. Soup is my goal for the new year. I have a Vita-Mix which is the world's coolest blender/food processor all in one and I want to start using it more. Specifically, I want to make healthy, homemade soups to eat before each meal, ideally filling myself up so I eat smaller portions at lunch and dinner. It's also a great way to get in my servings of vegetables, which I'm bad about eating. So, 2010- year of Soup. 

Read More

Any Ideas For a Funny Cat Index?

My editor from Ten Speed Press wrote me to say that she thought my upcoming cat humor book would benefit from having an index. Only, God love her, it's not a real index. It's a humor index, in line with the parody of the rest of the book. So index references may read:

Butt Licking, social.... 48

Butt Licking, hobby... 22

Kibbles - see NOM-NOM-NOM... 18

I love that this is how I spend my day. I spent two hours at Panera (my satellite office for those new to the blog) last week, sipping coffee and brainstorming ideas like, "Toenails as grappling hooks." Who has a better job than me? NO ONE. 

Of course, brainstorming is the fun part. Actually making something of the four pages of scribbled notes is something else. I'd say about 1 in every 8 ideas I come up with is worth keeping. The others are cliche, nonsensical, or just lame. I have no idea how long this index needs to be but I know I've still got hours and hours of work ahead of me. My goal is to have a solid, almost final draft complete before the end of the year. 

Over the holidays some of you may snuggle with loved ones, others may sip eggnog and roast chestnuts, and still others may curl up in front of the TV to watch Christmas specials. As for me, I'll be writing index jokes about dust bunnies, grasshoppers, and the evil moving red dot of light. 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS. 

Why Am I Up This Late??

It's 12:41 AM on Sunday night Monday morning and the house is quiet as I sit at my desk and type this. Blair is asleep in our bedroom and the cats are passed out under the Christmas tree--probably dreaming of catnip stuffed elves for Christmas.

I'm trying to remember the last time I made it up past midnight. As most of you know, I'm a "in bed and lights out by 10 PM girl." This week, however, life has been turned upside down.

Read More

Why Is This Chair Shedding?

This summer I spent several weeks investigating office chairs for my newly renovated writing room. I sat, spun, leaned back, bounced on, curled up in, and glided across the floor in more "pleather" chairs than I care to admit before finally settling on a winner. You'd think the chair would reward me with a least a year of two or life, but no. Take a look at what the shedding wonder looks like today:

The damage is even worse when viewed up close:

All around the house I'm finding bits of black chair covering strewn here and there. I assume it's adhering itself to my backside and hitching a ride to, say, the kitchen before deciding that this is its final destination. 

The chair itself is still fairly comfortable, so I'm hesitant to get rid of it. Much as I try to avoid the thought, I suspect there is a roll of black duct tape in my future.

Ho-ho-ho.

Dena