Newbie Dental Hygienist

I had my 6-month dental check-up today and a young girl dressed in sneakers and blue eyeliner, visibly shaking, informed me my hygienist was on vacation and she was subbing. Okay, "visibly shaking" might be a stretch but she was nervous.  Her opening chit-chat was a bit forced although she overcame this after a bit and told me funny stories she and her friends used to pull on one another in dental school (such as eating a bowl full of M&M's before a friend worked on your teeth).

Having her there made me appreciate the casual professionalism of my regular hygienist though.  It's not that this girl did anything wrong.  It was more that we were both just very aware of what she was doing.

"Doing okay?" she asked as the sharp pointy thing she was poking between my gums slipped a notch and almost took off my tongue.

"Ang-uh," I said.

"Oh good!" she replied.  "Now I'm going to use this mirror to move your tongue to the side.  Let me know if you feel a gagging sensation.  I had a second grader throw up on me not too long ago because of this very thing." 

It was a very loooong appointment.

My mouth hurt when it was over.  Not sure why as she really didn't do anything to hurt me.  Maybe an extra poke or two where they shouldn't have been but nothing drastic.  But I am much more appreciate now of hygienists.  There is a skill in learning how to get to all the odd angles of a person's mouth without flattening their hair or taking out an eye.  And maintaining a running chatter while scraping plague off teeth is an art form almost to be considered lost.

I liked this girl though and hope she does well.  Everyone has to start somewhere.

Making Toasts

I don't know what's scarier...having no ability to write toasts for a promised assignment or (gulp) discovering you might actually be good at it?

Not that I'm saying the toasts I came up with for the editor are good.  First of all, they all rhyme.  Every last one and I came up with about 6.  Even when I tried to sit down and write a sentence that didn't rhyme it would end up that way.  I'm not sure what this says about me.

They're all sort of cutesy rhymes too.  Who knew there was a Hallmark Tender Moments persona lurking deep inside me? (Get out!  Get out!)

But at least I have something to turn in.  The real nightmare would begin if they--God forbid--hired me for the job, eh?  Wouldn't that be a hoot?  At the very least I'd get loads of "I'm ripping my hair out" blogging material from it.

Great Quote

Found this in "The 8th Habit" by Stephen R. Covey:

"Remember, any time your emotional life is a function of someone else's weaknesses, you disempower yourself and empower those weaknesses to continue to mess your life up. Yesterday holds tomorrow hostage."

Spock couldn't have said it better.

Here's To You - Writing Toasts

Remember the whole cat book due by August thing ( Click hereto read about it)? I received an e-mail yesterday from another editor at Publications International who wrote they have a book on toasts coming out and are looking for writers who can contribute 150 toasts for weddings, birthdays, graduations--all under 50 words. 

On a sugar high from the chocolate I'd confiscated earlier in the day from Blair, I cheerfully agreed to submit 3 sample toasts by Monday afternoon.  I have to write one for a wedding, one for graduation, and one for retirement.

How do I get myself in these ridiculous situations? I can't write toasts!  I have no clue!  But now I'm obligated to turn in toasts because I don't want to blow my chances on being selected for the cat book.  Saying I'll turn something in and then going back on my word would not set a good impression.

So I expect to be sitting in a chair for the rest of the afternoon, glazed eyes staring out a window as I desperately try to think of words to rhyme with "congrats." (Rats? Mats? Big hairy bats?)

I'm such a moron to keep placing myself in these situations....