Alexander and the Lion's Cut

Here's one of the e-mails I received on the Great Cat Butt Wiping Adventure story, along with accompanying photo of Alexander.  Thanks to Alex's owner, Linda, for giving me permission to reprint here:

Hello Dena,

Oh my gosh...what a great story !! I have this 5 year old , 25 lb Main Coon (Alexander), who also can't seem to reach his bottom. I've only had him about 4 months and I've had lots of cats in the past but none with this problem. I took him to a groomer about a month ago to get a cool "lion cut" for the summer months and his bottom was a disgrace. Anyway, they cleaned him up good and said I could bring him back anytime for a bottom wash (only $5). I try to keep him clean with baby wipes but sometimes he's not in the mood and when a 25 lb cat is not in the mood to have his bottom cleaned .....it don't get done! Anyway, I decided today he was going to have a bottom wash here at home. So I put some cat shampoo in the sink with warm water and put him up on the counter, with his bottom next to the edge of the sink and we got it done. His bottom is washed, rinsed and dry and the view is much better as he walks away from me with his big fluffy tail up in the air. Thanks for the great story & the idea to just do it myself.

Linda Shook

Lakewood, WA

The Great Cat Butt Wiping Adventure - Fan Mail

You know, I try my best as a writer.  I work hard, research, double check facts, interview experts and spend hours searching for the perfect words.  But there's not a lot of recognition in the craft.  My piece on Morris the Cat's comeback?  Big deal.  My article on what happens to pets when owners divorce?  No one cared.  All my articles on breeds and backgrounds?  All escaped unnoticed.

Which is why I am LAUGHING at the fact that yesterday when the new issue of Cats & Kittenscame out that contained my humor piece on having to wipe my cat's ass because she was too fat to clean herself, I received no less than 3 pieces of fan e-mail before 5 o'clock.  All this time I've been trying to write high-profile pieces when really what I should have been focusing on is poo.

I love it though.  What a great feeling to know you made someone laugh through your writing.  It's the best high there is.  And I doubly appreciate it because I know how difficult it is to get people to write in about anything.  So I'm honored they bothered to find my website, then my e-mail and go to the trouble of dropping me a line.  Absolutely made my day.

BTW, I e-mailed my editor that I was receiving complimentary mail on the piece and advised her if she ever needed someone to write about s---, I was her gal.  Her response: "I had always suspected as much."

It's great to be valued. =)

Decorating Diary - A New Quote for the Bathroom

We met last night with the bathroom contractor.  Poor woman.  She had such beautiful ideas for our master bath and I unmercifully slashed the budget.  Soon it will be no more of an upgrade than designer Dixie cups and a new cover for the toilet.

The quote she gave us for countertops was just under $5000.  FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS.  Are you kidding me?  Admittedly, that included custom work and inlays and the whole shebang but give me a break...not even an option.

She got a great deal, she informed me, on the high-end cabinets.  "Absolutely stunner of a deal," she said.  "I've never seen prices like this for this quality."

Fine and dandy but guess what?  I don't need high-end cabinets, killer price or not.  I just need a place to store my lipstick and Oil of Olay.

So I'm essentially making her redo the whole thing.  She seems to think we can still add in a lot of the extras but I'm not sure.  She keeps saying things like, "That's only another $250 dollars" or "We can easily get that done for under $300."  All reasonable prices, but those numbers add up.

Tuck in.  I have a feeling the Decorating Diaries saga will be with us for months to come.

Better Homes & Gardens

I've been receiving the Better Homes & Gardens magazine for free for close to a year now.  I used to subscribe to it but decided since I don't garden and the chances of my ever making "dazzling doily displays" are slim to none, I'd let the subscription slide.

Doesn't seem to matter.  I received 50 of the "This is your LAST notice" warning cards begging me to return as a subscriber and I threw them all out. But they keep sending me the magazine.  The mailings that come with the magazine now aren't even "please renew your subscription" but just the standard "buy now and get 1 year free" offer.

It's a running joke with us now.  "Hey, look what I got!" I'll exclaim in feigned surprise as I pull the magazine out of the mailbox each month.  "Maybe I should subscribe only, no, wait, that would mean I would have to pay.  Nahhhh."

If only I could get such a deal going with my New Yorker magazine.