"My Aunt Dena Is Famous"

Max is the eight-year-old son of my best friend, Trisha (the only person in the world allowed to get away with calling me "D" because I know she means the letter "D" and not the abbreviated name "Dee."  A subtle yet important difference).   Trisha informed me today on the phone that Max is my biggest fan and tells everyone I'm famous.  

What happened is that she and Max got online together the other night and looked at my home page and the website for Lessons In Stalking.  A few days later he was with his friends and they're just apparently sort of discovering "fame" and what it means to be famous--you're on TV, the radio, people know you, why they want to know about you, etc.  So this group of 8 year-old boys is discussing famous people and Max pipes up, "My Aunt Dena is famous.  She's got a page on the internet and people read her books." 

How cute is that???  "She has a page on the internet."  That's the funniest/cutest/sweetest thing I've heard in ages.  Note to self: 8-year-olds are easily impressed.  But really, I'm so flattered.  Adult praise comes and goes but to have a child think you're cool...that ranks up there as among the best things in life.  My all time favorite "blurb" I've ever received is from an 11-year-old girl who wrote Cat & Kittens magazine and penned, "I think Dena Harris is really funny."  Of all the praise I've received, that's the one I treasure.

Along now, of course, with the praise from my #1 fan - Max.  Who needs Oprah's book club or outselling Stephen King?  I've got a page on the web!

I'm A Woman Now

I'm officially a woman.  Why?  Because I just bought my first pair of black stilettos.  

I'd been told, read, and of course inferred vicariously through Sex & The City reruns that I wasn't much of a "real" woman without owning at least one pair of stilettos.  I made it my mission at the beginning of the summer to buy a pair, but after trying on a few and feeling an immediate and full stop of all blood flowing to my feet I decided the pain just wasn't worth it.  I am, above all else, a comfort gal.  If I could arrange it so I could go through life wearing nothing but old sweatpants, a t-shirt and no bra, don't think for a moment I wouldn't do it.

So I was more shocked than anyone when today, while shopping at the Black & White store (my favorite store.  The salespeople are totally helpful and will dress you like a doll so you don't even have to think about what goes with what), I pulled on the pair of stileto's handed to me and LOVED THEM.

I'm never working out again.  I'm just going to wear my stilletos with everything.  They give great muscle definition and plus, why would I need to be strong?  If I'm robbed, instead of running I'll raise my leg and poke the would-be-robber's eye out with the spike heel of my new kick-ass shoes.

Still, some thought was required.

"You look great in those!" chirped the salesgirl.

"I do look great in these," I agreed.  "I'm going to get them."

"Wonderful.  Why don't you try walking around a bit to make sure those are the right size."

"Huh?" I asked.  I had planted myself firmly in front of the three-way mirror.  I shook my  head at her question.  "No, you don't understand.  I live in Birkenstocks.  I don't expect to ever actually be able to take a step in these."

She looked puzzled. "But how will you get around?"

I shrugged.  I still haven't figured that one out but I'm not too worried.  If I have to hobble and half-drag myself up a sidewalk and cling to water fountains and interior walls to get to where I'm going, so be it.  I'll stand up straight and look great once I get there.

And be sure to stay tuned to this blog for what I'm sure will be most entertaining posts about podiatry appointments and 10 different ways to save face after falling flat on your butt because you wore a pair of stilts with a little belt buckle, knowing full well you have no sense of balance or grace to begin with.

So be it.  I think I'm going to sleep with my special grown-up shoes tonight.  Just pray I don't roll over and unintentionally stab myself.

Updates All Around

I don't have enough of any one subject to make a full blog entry so I thought I'd take today to piecemeal updates on different projects.

1. The Battle of "You Know."  As mentioned in a prior post, I am trying to break myself of saying "You know" and "okay" in everyday speech.  Progress is being made in that I'm catching myself saying it (4 times last night at Wendy's in about a 20-minute time frame--sheesh!) but I haven't yet stopped  saying it.  That will come.  I'm also expanding the "no-no" list to include "actually."  I start way too many sentences that way.  "Actually, I think you're right."  "Actually, I think we turn left here."  There is just no need.
2. Big Cat Book Project.  Completed and turned in.  I'm very happy with the final product and they seem to be too.  The release date for the book is April 2006.  For a person with little to no patience, I chose a really poor field to enter.
3. Lessons In Stalking.  My first ad for the book came out in the November issue of Cats & Kittens.  The editor there was good to me and not only placed an ad, but gave me a book review and put a picture of my book in the Table of Contents for people to flip to the review.  I'll just sit back now and wait for the orders to start pouring in. =)
4. Decorating Diaries.  We meet with the bathroom woman this week.  I don't think that's her official title (at least, I hope not) but lucky her, that's how we refer to her since we'll be selecting the cabinets and tile with her.
5. Cats.  They're lucky their cute.  I spend 10 minutes every morning going around the bottom half of our home, opening windows to let in fresh air.  We have the old fashioned windows that swing out vs. up, so to open a window means pushing up the storm window, shoving the window open, locking it, then pulling the screen down.  Not to mention bracing most windows with a post so they don't accidentally slam shut on a kitty tail.  My point being, a fair amount of work is involved.  So what do the cats do?  Hunker down in the air-conditioned upstairs for five-hour siestas.
6. Public Speaking.  I'm signed up to do an October workshop for the WGOT and the library on Public Speaking Tips for Writers.  However, looks like my Saturday magazine writing class is not going to make.  The college instructor said the gas prices were really hurting attendance at non-mandatory classes--people just can't afford to drive out to them. It's schedule again for November so I remain hopeful I'll still get the class--and some magazine writers--going.

And finally, Dena's tip for the day.  Throw out your scale.  We got rid of ours about 2 months ago because it was never right and would show a six pound weight gain or loss from day to day--talk about mood swings! But I feel great without it.  Now I actually go by how I look and how my clothes fit vs. a number on the scale.  Yeah, yeah, the experts have been saying that for years but who listens to them?  Trust me--much happier life with no scale.

Donations to Help Pets Made Homeless by Katrina

This is a list compiled by my friends at the Cat Writers Association and I think specifically by writer and radio personality Steve Dale.  If you wish to donate, here are some verified and legitimate options:

American Kennel Club Canine Support and Relief Fund
( http://www.akc.org/news/hurricane_katrina.cfm ) or mail a donation to AKC Companion Animal Recovery Canine Support and Relief Fund, c/o American Kennel Club, 5580 Centerview Drive Raleigh, North Carolina 27606. You may also call 800-252-7894.

American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (2005 Disaster Relief Fund) ( http://www.aspca.org/disaster ) , or call 212-876-7700, ext. 4516.

American Veterinary Medical Association Veterinary Medical Assistance Teams ( http://www.avmf.org/ ) , or call (847) 925-8070. AVMF supports state and Veterinary Medical Assistance Team (VMAT) training and equipment for deployment in times of disaster. Make donation to AVMF AVMA Medical Assistance Team, 1931 N. Meacham Rd., Suite 100, Schaumburg, IL 60173

Cat Fanciers' Association (Disaster Relief Fund and the newly formed CFA
Gulf Shore Fund) ( http://www.cfainc.org/ ) , 732-528-7391. The Cat Fanciers' Association, Inc., P.O. Box 1005, Manasquan, NJ 08736-0805.

Code 3 Associates (Code 3 Associates, Inc. is dedicated to both professional disaster response for animal rescue operations and to training individuals working in animal related law enforcement throughout the country. Also works with EARS Emergency Animal Rescue Service - from the United Nations) ( http://www.code3associates.org/ ) , 303-772-7724; Code 3 Associates, P.O. Box 1128 Erie, CO 80516.

Humane Society of the United States ( http://www.hsus.org/ ) , or call 800-HUMANE-1. Or send check to, HSUS Disaster Relief Fund, 2100 L Street, NW, Washington, DC 20037.

Louisiana Veterinary Medical Association ( http://www.lvma.org/ ) , or call 800- 524-2996.
Make donations to the Dr. Walter J. Ernst Jr. Memorial Foundation, 8550 United Plaza Boulevard, Suite 1001, Baton Rouge, LA 70809, Make note on your check that the contribution is for Hurricane Katrina Relief.

Noah’s Wish (an animal welfare organization dedicated exclusively to rescuing following disasters). ( http://www.noahswish.org/ ) , or call 530-622-9313, or send a donation to Noahs Wish, P.O. Box 997 Placerville, CA 95667

North Shore Animal League ( http://www.nsalamerica.org/ ) , or call 877-4SAVEPET.

Perhaps the organization most in need will be the Louisiana SPCA. It’s likely their building has been destroyed, though this is unconfirmed. Their website has not been updated; their New Orleans address and phone no longer exist. It’s unclear how to help them today. But at some juncture, there will be directives available through their website: ( http://www.la-spca.org/ ) . Other affected city shelters will require help as well. A Mobile, AL shelter site is at ( http://www.mobilespca.org/ )