Tipping Has Gone Too Far

I go with Blair to get his haircuts because he goes to an old-fashioned barber shop and I like the environment and the fact that every Saturday morning they have donut holes sitting out for the taking.

So I settled into a hair-covered chair (barbers don't clean) with my chocolate donut hole last Saturday to wait for Blair and opened the paper.  It was there that I read the article on "tipping."

It had most of the standard fare - $1/bag for airport handlers unless the bag is really heavy and then you must promise them your first-born. 15% at lunch, 20% at dinner, etc.

What caught my eye was the section on tipping your coffee baristas.  You know baristas, right?  They're the friendly people at places like Starbucks whose goal in life is to get you hooked on a never-satisfied desire for any drink that ends with the phrase "latte."

According to this article, I'm supposed to be tipping my barista $1 per drink for the drudgery of having to mix together milk and coffee with a dash of espresso and have a machine whir it all together.  This is after I've already been suckered into paying $3.85 for coffee drink to begin with.  So I'm supposed to tip over 20% per java hit? You know what?  I don't think so.

I tip waitstaff who bring me my food, refill my drink, and keep the warm rolls coming.  I do NOT tip people for standing behind a counter and pouring me a cup of coffee.  That's out of control and, I find, rather snobbish.  You don't see the cooks at McDonalds leaving a tip jar out for frying up your burgers (don't anyone get any ideas here) so why am I expected to pay a barista other than that it's the yuppie thing to do?

I will occasionally tip the counter staff at local hang out coffee shops like the Green Bean, but that's more because I'm taking up a table for 3 hours with my laptop after having only purchased a .70 coffee and a $1.20 muffin.  Guilt kicks in.

But I'll be damned if you'll ever see me tipping the staff at Starbucks or--should it come to that--McDonalds.

Bah-humbug. =)

Spooky Found A Home!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just received this e-mail from the volunteer coordinator at Happy Hills Animal Foundation:

Hi, Dena!
I just learned that Spooky WAS adopted and it would have never happened if you had not asked Happy Hills to join you [at your book launch].  I don't know all the particulars, but it definitely had something to do with him being present at your book signing!!!  Congratulations!

I am SO HAPPY I can't even describe it.  I LOVE that cat.  So soft and calm and when he leaned in and head-butted me and then licked my nose...well.  God certainly  has his (or her!) angels here on earth and Spooky is one of them. I wish him the very best of best lives.

If by any weird twist of fate Spooky's new owner comes across this site, I would love to hear from you and post an update on how Spooky's taken to home life. It's amazing how one small cat can so quickly touch so many lives.  I've had friends and e-mails, asking me about Spooky.  So happy to report back with good news.

Book Signings for Lessons In Stalking

Wanted to mention a few final book signings I'm doing before the holidays.  Priced at under $10 (okay, a nickel under $10, but it still counts), Lessons In Stalking makes a great gift or stocking stuffer.  I've had people buying in bulk.  My allergist bought 8 to give to friends and family.  I'd say the book is appropriate (as in, they'll "get" the humor) for ages 10 and up.

So, if you'd like to catch me in person to sign a few books, I'll be at THE PAINTED PLATE at 2001 N. Church Street this Wednesday, Dec. 14th from noon - 1:30 pm.  They are hosting a shopping boutique staffed with local artists and, aside from my book, it's a great chance to pick up some unique gifts crafted by local artists.  I'll be at a table with Linda Santell, my book's illustrator, who will have some of her Whimsical Wisdom work for women handy as well. 

I'm also planning on stopping by The Fat Cat in Madison the weekend before Christmas to do a signing.  Right now, I'm planning on being there from 11 - 1 on Saturday, December 24th.  All you last minute shoppers, buy a gift book for your wife, husband or significant other and keep them laughing Christmas Day as they kick back to enjoy it.

I look forward to seeing you at these two events!

Sock 'Em Boppers

Did anyone ever play with Sock 'Em Boppers as a child? These were among my favorite toys.  I remember receiving them when I was 4 years old and we lived in the duplex next to my Grandma and Grandpa.  A picture from childhood shows me and my Dad, both in our robes, with Sock 'Em Boppers slipped over our hands, aiming these huge rubber cylinders at each others chins.

I wasn't sure they even made them anymore because, really, a toy that encourages kids to beat the crap out of one another is probably not the most P.C..  But I received a call from my sister yesterday who, out doing Christmas Shopping, had happened across Sock 'Em Boppers.  "I was so excited, I just bought them!" she said.  "We're giving them to Jake (her 2-year-old son) for Christmas."

Apparently, Nicole and her husband Grant had Jake over at a friends house the other day and the friends 4 year old son had a set of Sock 'Em Boppers.  They slipped one over Jake's hand and POW!  He nailed the 4-year-old.  Nicole said Grant turned to her and said, "I feel oddly proud of him."

How funny is that!  We were laughing that football helmets and judo training can't be far behind.  "C'mon son, wipe that blood off and get back in the ring." 

Men and their toys...