Butt Pads to the Rescue

 Five minutes ago:

"Aunt Di-Di?"

"Yes?"

"Can you help me put in my butt pad?" 

And people wonder why I've chosen not to bear children...

It wasn't as bad as it sounds. Max is 11 and plays football. There is a cushioning apparatus called a "butt pad" that must be shoved down into a miniscule flap of fabric on the (not being worn at the time) male shorts. I shoved and tugged and stretched and hurled curses at the thing until I finally got it down in there. NOT a user friendly piece of attire. 

I'm now on my way to watch twenty-three 11 year old boys hurl themselves at one another while I feign excitement from the sidelines. I am WAY too self-absorbed to ever have kids.

Plus, I just can't get used to those butt pads...

Kiss My Kitty Butt Website Now Operational

It's up! KissMyKittyButt.com, the home page, is now operational. Just a list of chapters at this point, but check out the background--my web designer and I agree that's just begging to be put on a pair of boxers. 

Still no word from the publishers I've sent the book to. Aargh... publishing is a punishingly slow business. But I'm moving forward on marketing and placement for the book regardless. 

Right now I'm consumed with the other cat book for the agent, but soon my attention will turn back to how I can have everyone on planet telling each other to "Kiss My Kitty Butt!"

Be My Web B**CH

I just started reading The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss. Lots to chew on. One suggestion he makes is to rid yourself of work you don't do well and that doesn't directly contribute to your profit line. For example, if it takes you two hours to churn out a decent business letter, is that the best use of your time or could you hire somebody who holds that skill to do it for you?

My area of downfall is anything technology related. Right now, for example, I'm struggling with setting up a new e-mail account. I grabbed "dena@kissmykittybutt.com" from my service provider but I can't get the account to show on my Mac and download mail there. Grrrr.... I'm on hour two of futzing around with this. Good use of my time in an already busy week? I think not. Which has me considering hiring a sort of personal assistant to assist me with all things techie. Or not even assist. Just do them. I call, you do. And I thought of the perfect person.

I called my friend Melody.

"I'm thinking of hiring you to be my web bitch," I said.

And this is why I love Melody. Without missing a beat or knowing what I was talking about she said, "I would love to be your web bitch."

I need to think it through--what exactly I think I would need, would pay be on an hourly or retainer basis, average expected cost, etc. As I move more into book marketing, there is just more to be done that I don't have the skill set for - graphics and banners, Flair on Facebook, logos, e-mail accounts, RSS feeds, website redesign and updates...

Yes, I think I see a web bitch in my future.

Chocolate Special K

Part of the fun of visiting people or having them visit you is you're exposed to that person's or family's eating habits. Most of us tend to buy the same foods week after week--our favorite chips or granola bars, same 'ol fruit and veggies, our favorite spaghetti sauce, cola drink, or boxed pasta.

I told you how much fun it was to come back from the Outer Banks and find our housesitter had left lager and chocolate-peanut butter ice-cream behind. Bonus! I never buy those things for myself and so had a little kitchen holiday inside the home. I had a similar experience yesterday with some CHOCOLATE Special K my niece had left behind.

When we went to the store and she picked up the box of CHOCOLATE Special K my first thought was "gross." That thought didn't change when I watched her pour it in a bowl and eat it. Dark chocolate chunks mixed with a high protein corn cereal? Sure, that or snot. Both sound about equally appealing.

But hunger makes us do strange things. Yesterday afternoon I was starving and out of desperation, poured a small bowl of the cereal just to try it before I threw the box out. Oh. My. God. You're going to need to send me to detox to pull me off this stuff. It's chocolate! And cereal! In the words of the iconoclastic Rachel Ray--"Yum-O!"

It boils down to the fact that I am a chocolate whore. Pour it on top of lima beans and I'll eat it. I think I had 3 bowls of Chocolate Special K yesterday. I'm focusing on the "Special K" part and mentally chanting, "It's good for me!" while simultaneously shoving small chunks of dark chocolate down my throat. 

If only I had some lager with which to wash it down...