Let Them Eat... Wait, That's Not Allowed On This Diet

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Just when you thought ALL the funny material that could ever be written about cats already existed, a new book comes along to challenge your perspective and make you ask, "Huh. Are more jokes about overweight tabbies really necessary in my life?" 

The answer is yes, yes they are. I'm happy to announce that Ten Speed Press/Random House has picked up the contract on my next book. Does This Collar Make My Butt Look Big? A Diet Book for Cats will be released in Fall 2013. 

Similar to the set-up of my last book where each chapter parodied a popular self-help book on the market, this book attacks human diets and exercise plans and examines them from a cat's pont of view, which is is to say the diets are viewed while napping upside down over the edge of the couch. 

Needless to say, I've spent a whole lotta time this summer reading diet books. Paleo, South Beach, Atkins, Raw Food, Slow Carb, Dukan, all carb, no carb, fasts, cleanses, celebrity diets... there's no lack of material to pull from.

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Running Diaries: Missing My Stride

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No one ever said running was easy. I not only get that, I embrace it. It's one of the many things I love about running--that dig-deep-gut-it-out-get-it-done feeling that comes with pushing myself through a really hard workout. 

But something's wrong. I've been struggling with my runs lately, even the easy recovery runs. Where normally I loosen up and hit my stride within the first mile, lately my legs stay weighted throughout the entire run. My lungs are fine but my ankles, of all odd things, are killing me. Both of them. They're stiff and inflexible and ache with each step. 

There are a few different things that could be affecting my running: 

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More Beach Time Fantasy vs. Reality

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In my last post I wrote about how I dreamed my life at the beach would unfold versus what usually happens. I've been at the beach condo for not quite two days now... how are things measuring up? 

DAY 1

As expected, life--and me--are perfect. I wake up early Sunday morning, brew some (decaf) coffee and do a brief meditation before breakfast. I eat a light breakfast of cottage cheese and berries then head out to the beach for a 2-hour walk. (Confession: It would have been closer to a 90-minute walk except I pulled a Dena and walked past my condo, not realizing it until I was another 15 minutes down the beach.) 

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Beach Time: Fantasy versus Reality

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I'm going mad. Me, attempting to pack everything I've convinced myself I'll need for the beach is the definition of insanity. You think I overpack for trips to Europe? That's nothing compared to the damage I can do packing for a simple beach trip to Hilton Head. How hard can it be? Bikini, towel, shorts, sunscreen, go!

The problem is that there is a huge discrepancy in how I hope, wish and dream my time at the beach will be spent, and what actually occurs. 

The Dream: Each day I thoughtfully peruse the vegan/vegetarian cookbooks I packed and pick out healthy, low sugar, low carb, high protein, tasty meals comprised of dark leafy greens, bright vegetables, and fish that I grill on the stove top grill I've already hauled out to the car and hidden in the trunk before Blair could question where the hell I thought I was going with that thing. I ride my bike to the store in the early evening, buying only enough food for that night's meal, which I prepare while sipping wine and swaying in the kitchen to beach music.

The Reality: I will eat cereal for breakfast, lunch and most dinners. 

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