Why Johnny Can't Brand

I'm reading a fascinating book called Why Johnny Can't Brand by Bill Schley and Carl Nichols, Jr.  The authors advise how to "brand" your company in the form of a single, mesmerizing DSI or Dominant Selling Idea.

The example I like best in the book is a politician who talks for an hour, touching on every campaign issue he can. When asked later what the politician spoke on, an audience member replied, "He wants to raise taxes."  It's the idea that people will only hold ONE idea about you in their mind and it's up to you to make sure that one idea is your DSI.

So for me, a writer, I might advertise that my writing is funny, creative, reliable, low-cost, and I care about my clients. All true, but people can't grasp all that. What the authors purport is that I (or whomever) pick one subcategory within my industry where I can market myself as #1.  So maybe I'm the #1 creative writer in the Triad area, or the #1 funniest writer, or the #1 writer of dazzling brochures, etc. (The downside to this is you have to be able to back up your claim. You can't claim to be the funniest but in reality be as dull as dirt. There's always a catch...)

Blair and I were brainstorming some ideas the other night and came up with one I really like--if it comes off the right way. I'm meeting Wednesday with a group of writer friends to brainstorm ideas for my business and web site and I'm going to run it by them. If it passes muster, I'll post here later.

Sidenote: After we'd brainstormed over dinner, we just fell into silly mode and somehow got on the topic of how great it would be to design a web site passed on themes from past STAR TREK episodes.  So instead of real client comments, I could quote characters like Khan from the wrath of Khan. I could have this on a page that said

Client Comments About Dena's Writing:

"''From Hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.''" - Khan

Then of course there would be the pricing page where pricing is determined by how fast you need the work done.  "Warp Speed" will cost you more than "1/4 impulse power."  And the web site content reading, "Do you find your marketing pieces being sucked down a black hole or trampled by raging Romulans? Let Dena Harris--half human, half Vulcan--show you the logical way to great writing!"

We'd also have a disclaimer: "I don't work for Ferengi" with a pic of a Ferengi with a thick, red X marked through it.

Yes, this is our life. We were just cracking up  in the car on the way home, coming up with this stuff.  Some Trekie writer should take this and run with it. It's worth it just to have the Khan quote on your site. 

As for me (sigh), back to the branding book...

Will No One Speak For the Fish?

Poor fishie. Since I posted the prior blog entry on our decision to get fish, I have been bombarded by family and friends advising me against it.

My mother called to ask if I remembered the time when I was five and we arrived home to find our cat, Big Hairy, had flipped our fish out of the tank and left them to die on the living room carpet.

My "best friend" Trisha called to remind me of the horrible "Jean-Luc / Mr. Bean" pug fiasco, where we thought we were ready for dogs, brought 2 pug puppies home and gave them back within 5 days because they were destroying my sanity and all I could do was cry. (I was in my 20's and a perfectionist and the dogs were messin' with that - so sue me).

And then my dear friend Bernie, a mentor in so many areas of my life, posts a blog about catfish nightmares and nasty tanks that haunts her to this day.

I ask you people--will  no one speak on behalf of the fish? Is there not one among you who will stand apart and declare their love for the creatures of God's sea or--as at Aquamain world--the creatures of Tank #141?  

Surely there is one among you willing not to cast the first stone. Willing in fact, to stand up and say, "I (insert name), I love the fish!" 

I, and the fish, are waiting... 

Gone Fishin'

We are getting fish.

Thank you for sharing our great excitement. We've talked about fish for years and have decided that finally, after 12 years of marriage, we are deeply committed enough to one another to withstand the potential trauma and screaming fits involved in selecting, buying, and caring for fish.

Our interest in fish stemmed from (where else?) the cats. We felt the cats were growing bored within the confines of the house and that watching colorful fish with their zigzag movements might provide hours of entertainment that didn't involve us having to wave around a wand with dangling feathers or catnip balls of any sort. Nothing gets me excited like a win-win scenario.

So on Saturday, we drove to Aquamain's Fish World in Greensboro.  We discussed strategy along the way.

"Listen," said Blair. "Don't say anything about us wanting to get fish for our cats."

"Why not?" I asked. "It's not like we're going to feed the fish to the cats."

"I just think that would start us out on the wrong foot," said Blair. "These people really like fish."

"Fine, fine. I won't bring up the cats," I said. "But whatever happened to 'the customer is always right?'"

"That's for people who don't appear initially insane," said Blair.

So we entered Aquamain's Fish World and were immediately struck by the thick, musty, fishy smell places such as these carry. "I'm sure our home will smell nothing like this when we get fish," I said. Blair nodded.

We were pretty set on a freshwater tank as we'd heard saltwater tanks were work to maintain and the fish less hardy. However, the very helpful salesperson serving us pointed out that with today's technology, saltwater tanks aren't substantially harder then freshwater to take care of. Both need 1/4 to 1/2 of their water changed once a month and saltwater requires you mix the salt into the replacement water before adding it to the tank.

 Saltwater fish are so much bigger and brighter than freshwater fish. Now that I know saltwater is within our grasp, I have made it my life's goal to own a puffer fish (Just look at the photo.  The fish is smiling .

I must have a smiling fish).  

Our idea was to start small. Get a small tank with 3 fish and see if we could make it a week without the option of fresh sushi presenting itself in the form of a belly-up Angelfish.

But small is apparently no good. Our salesperson advised to go as large a tank as we can within our budget. Something about larger tanks creating a more stable environment. Whatever. All I know is we suddenly started eyeing 65-gallon tanks with their own stands that combined are bigger than the entertainment  center that houses our TV.

We've decided to take it slow, meaning we'll give it a week--two, tops--before we rush in and make poor buying decisions. Meanwhile, if any of you reading this have any knowledge of the world of fish and freshwater vs. saltwater tanks, now is the time to weigh in with your opinion. Do not tell me I made the wrong decision after we purchase our tank or you will awake one morning with Angelfish sushi on your doorstep.

Fish. The family pet. Stay tuned for exciting developments...

Is Your Self-Image Influenced By the Opinions of Others?

It's been kind of a crappy week.  What's made it a less-than-satisfactory five days are a couple of writing projects that have gone astray. Or rather, the clients aren't happy with what I've given them.

It's nothing tragic and it's certainly fixable.  One project was a bit of a gamble anyway. I was given vague guidelines (they're very concerned with secrecy) and asked to submit only the briefest of outlines. I got excited about the work and rushed ahead and they're not excited about the direction I took. I knew that might happen and in the big picture it's okay. I'll get more info from them, regroup, and resubmit.

What I don't care for is how much of my mood is influenced by getting one "poor" review of my work. And it wasn't even a poor review. They said they liked a lot of what I had, it just wouldn't work for where they were going.  But I have somehow managed to emerge from life with a "I must be perfect at all times" mindset and hearing "This isn't quite right" on this particular project has noticeably altered my mood.

On the bright side, such downswings in mood or self-confidence are temporary. I'm fortunate in that I actually like the person I am and I never stay down for long. When I worked at the Women's Center, I was appalled at how many women really, truly didn't like who they were or felt they had no value. So if they were handed a blow, they took it to heart and it only fed into their belief system that they're not good enough and never will be. I don't have that struggle, thank God. 

But I can be thrown for loops for hours or sometimes days at a time. And it works both ways. If someone praises my work, I'm on a 48-hour high. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with enjoying praise but I'm seeking a little more balance in mood so that I don't get knocked from my center either way.

I think part of my mood is that I really overstretched myself this summer with work, volunteer commitments, writing projects, etc. and I'm exhausted. I've dropped two writers groups, Dale Carnegie ends in two weeks and I've actually said "no" to several people who've asked me take on new projects, both work-related and volunteer. I'm feeling the strong urge to "nest," and just hide from the world for a couple of months and I'm respecting that. This is the first weekend in months where I have no commitments scheduled. An absolutely, 100% free weekend to do with as I please. I don't even know where to start. Sleeping and reading (and running!) sound like a start.

And to end this entry on a high note, here's a tidbit that came across in the end of a long picture e-mail to me. It made me smile so I'm sharing with you today. Have a great weekend!

"Save the Earth... It's the Only Planet With Chocolate"