Weight of a Dead Cat

You all know how much I love my cats,. But even my patience was tried last night as I tried to budge a 12 lb. cat just an inch or two to the left so I could have a smidge of sleeping room.

She wasn't having it. She dug her claws into our bedspread and went completely limp, adding I think a good 10 lbs to her body weight with her "I'm a dead cat" feint.

She was lying between Blair and myself, down around our knees. It was 2 AM and Blair had rolled over, pulling most of the covers with him. I gave a gentle tug and he released them, but I needed her highness to move in order to pull the covers over to my side.

I tapped her with my foot. "Hey, move it," I whispered.

She pretended as if she hadn't heard me.

I sat up and scratched her ears, trying to charm her into moving. That was a no go, so I tried to pick her up but as I said, she proceeded to act as if the lifeforce had drained out of her and went completely limp.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a grip on a deadweight cat?

So I turned mean (hey--it's 2 AM and I'm tired) and started shoving at her with my feet under the covers until she finally moved.  

I went to sleep with a satisfied smirk on my face...

Camera Ready

On Friday, I walked into the Greensboro Women's Resource Center for a graduation ceremony. The 15 women in the New Choices program (job-readiness training for displaced homemakers) had completed their 40-hour program and were celebrating with certificates, cake, and individual recognition.

I arrived early and decided to slip upstairs to see Ashley, the Director of the Center and my  supervisor when I ran the New Choices program.  There was a TV crew in the lobby as I walked by.  "Are you Lisa?" they asked. Lisa is the PR director for the Center.  I shook my head and continued on.

 Upstairs, I walked into Ashley's office were she and Lisa stood conferring. "Hello!" they both gushed a bit too enthusiastically when I walked in the door. "Hi," I said and nodded to Lisa. "There's a camera crew downstairs looking for you."

Lisa grabbed my arm. "Listen,  how would you like to do me a big favor?" The camera crew was there to interview Lisa about general background on the Center--who they serve, who's eligible, their mission, etc. "Would you do it?" she asked.  (For personal reasons I won't go into here, Lisa was feeling a bit shy about appearing on camera).

And that's how I found myself being interviewed on camera five minutes later. Thank God I'd dressed decent that day. (I'd come close to the leaving the house in my Old Navy t-shirt that proclaims, "I Love Mom.")  The piece I was interviewed for is part of a larger production for Guilford County Schools and will also be translated into Spanish.

My 15-minutes (or rather, 1 minute) of fame complete, I walked into the graduation room. The New Choices program coordinator informed me her scheduled speaker had cancelled and would I mind saying a few words?  I was thrilled to--I hold a warm place in my heart for the women who gradate the New Choices Program... I can't say enough about their dedication and courage and hope at a better life.

So it was quite the media morning. I love how life is like that--you think you're showing up to sit in the back of a room and applaud and the next moment you're being miked for TV and making a small speech.  Makes getting out of bed each day just that much more interesting.

You may be scooping kitty poop out of the litter box right now, but who knows what magic the day holds?

Writer For Hire - $214.31

HIRE ME, HIRE ME, HIRE ME!

Hear ye, hear ye. In the 16 days left until the New Year, it is to be the mission of each and every one of you to find someone in need of a writer AND (this is the crucial part) is willing to pay for said writing services before the close of midnight on Sunday, December 31st.  That's right... while others are groovin' with Dick Clark watching the ball drop, I'm counting singles and twenties...

Here's the deal. Each year I set a financial goal for myself. I am--as of this writing--$214.31 short of reaching this year's goal. It's like at the end of Rocky III when Rocky and Apollo have a friendly matchup at Apollo's bidding and Apollo says,  "You beat me by one second. One second...that's very hard for a man of my intelligence to handle."  Same deal here. I'm sooooo close that it's killing me.

Admittedly, my accounting system is somewhat warped. I only count cash collected during the year. I actually have close to $1,000 owed me in article fees but the cash for that cool grand won't arrive until January--too late to meet this year's goal (but giving me a nice leg up on next year's goal).

I may have a quick $50 project at the start of next week which inches me even CLOSER to the goal. 

I know...I'm so close that it pretty much counts. Except it doesn't.

No one ever said life was easy for a Type A. (Now go find me work...) 

Holiday House Cleaning

Here's the debate: Clean the house now and relieve the heebie-jeebies I get every time I look under the dresser in our bedroom and see dust bunnies of killer rabbit proportions, or wait until we take the holiday decorations down and clean then, since the house will get trashed in the process anyway? (And anyone who dare suggest we do both need never log on to this blog again. Just how much free time do you think I have, anyway?)

Of course, this opens the lively debate of when the holiday decorations should come down. Me, I'm a December 26th gal. Christmas is over... why live in the past? Let's take down the lights, pull down the tree, pack up the cards and put this whole holly-jolly season behind us.  If I get my way, every trace of the holiday is removed from my home by 8 PM the day after Christmas. Ahhhh... total relaxation.

Blair, on the other hand, is a January 1st or 2nd guy. "It's nice to have a tree up for New Years," is his argument. Uh--no, it's not. It's just a tall, green reminder of all the clean-up and packing still to be done AND it robs me of the satisfaction of starting the New Year, from the first bong at midnight, with a spotless home. I will not be denied.

One of my friends shared that she leaves her tree up until January 6th...the 12th day of Christmas. Honestly, that never occurred to me. Makes sense though (which is why Blair must never, ever learn of it).

Then you have people like my sister-in-law and brother in-law who leave their tree up until...oh...let's say...April.

This topic is a big deal for people. When I share with certain people that I prefer to take my tree down the day after Christmas they look at me as though I'd just smacked an infant. If there were such as thing as party-pooper police, I believe they'd turn me in.

Thank God we don't have kids. Can you imagine? "Did you have a good Christmas darlings? You did? Wonderful. Now rush rush and put all your new toys away because if they're left out after December 26th Santa will haul ass back here and exchange each and every one for a lump of coal. Run along now and clean your rooms..." 

If memory serves, I believe I acquiesced to Blair last holiday season and we left the tree up until January. Which is why I'm pushing this year to take that sucker down. 

I know, I know...bah humbug...I'm such a Grinch.  Maybe someday my heart will grow three sizes in one day.

But I'm betting it will be on a day after the tree comes down. =)