Uh, Honey, Anything You Want To Tell Me...?

Uh HUH. So. I'm sitting at my desk this morning, tap-tap-tapping away on my keyboard when the doorbell rings. Cats go flying under beds and as I walk to the front door I see a man in a brown UPS shirt walking back toward his truck. Yea, a delivery! Deliveries are always such fun. But hmmm.... I don't remember ordering anything as of late. What could it be?

God give me patience. I open the door to find these on the front porch:

Why doesn't he WARN me about these things? The other day I came home to find a 6-foot wrapped pole leaning against the mailbox. Fishing pole? No - bow and arrow set. I don't know whether to be happy he's got a hobby or - frankly - a bit concerned. 

So I don't know what Conan thinks we're going to do with these inner tube things. I'm hoping the word "River" on the box is misleading and maybe he's booked us at some 5-star resort where we'll sip organic pina coladas as our tubes are guided through an air-conditioned tunnel of chlorine-filled, chemically altered crystal blue pool water. I KNOW he doesn't expect me to set foot in the humid, buggy, mud-entrenched Dan River outside our home. Does he? DOES HE??

I swear, if snow shoes or a hang-gliding kit show up at the door, I'm having him evaluated. 

I think it's revenge for all the vegan meals. I SAID I was sorry about the $75 hemp-protein pancakes already... please, honey, let it go.

ADOPT ME

Meet Almost JackMy friend Dawn, a dog trainer, found this sweet little face staring up at her from a highway. He needs a home - permanent or foster. In Dawn's words:

On Thursday, August 13, 2009 I was driving home from a client's house and saw a dog in the road up ahead. I thought it was a min pin or other small breed. I stopped the car as I got closer, and he came around to the driver's door. I opened the door, and was face to face with a starving puppy. I scooped him up and put him in the car, and took him to a vet as soon as I could.

Bio:
I've always heard when you name a stray is when you get into trouble, but I kept thinking of him as Jack. I told a friend of my reluctance to call him Jack, and she said he was "Almost Jack". So that's his name now. Almost Jack.

Quick Bio:
-mutt -dog rescue -ADOPTABLE!

Likes:
To be held. Food.

Pet-Peeves:
Being left alone, going hungry.

Favorite Toy:
He hasn't experienced toys yet, but I'm getting him some.

Favorite Food:
Anything. He appreciates anything he gets.

Favorite Walk:
He hasn't really experienced this yet. He seems fearful that he will be left when I take him outside.

Best Tricks:
Being cute. Washing your face.

Dogster Id:
1024686

Age: 4 Months Sex: Male Weight: 11-25 lb

Expected Adult Size:
Medium (26-50 lbs.)

You can visit Almost Jack's Profile on Dogster.com. If you can offer this sweet boy a home, or even a foster home to keep him out of the shelter, time is of the essence. Please pass Almost Jack's info along to anyone who may be interested.

Thank you! (And puppy kisses from Almost Jack.)

Have My Blog Posts E-mailed To You

Staying up nights tossing and turning, worried you may forget to check in here one day and read new and hilarious posts about malicious cats, vegan diets, and why Blair deserves some sort of award for putting up with me? Ta Da! We're here for you! 

You may now have new posts delivered directly to your e-mail so there's no more guessing on just when I've gotten around to writing something. Just enter your email address in the box on the right of this blog, which will take you to a page for confirmation. After you confirm that you did indeed intend to subscribe to my blog, you will receive an e-mail message from Feedburner asking if you're sure you REALLY want to do this. (Maybe they've read my posts about cats.) You MUST click on the link provided within. After you do so, you will receive a notice that you are, in fact, going to receive notices every time I publish a new blog entry.

That's all! The posts will arrive on the days I blog sometime between 7 and 9am, EST. If I include an excerpt, never fear: just click on the title of the blog post and you'll be directed to the full piece. And if I get industrious and post two things to my blog in a single day (it could happen, though don't hold your breath,) you'll only receive a single notice. 

That's all. Go subscribe. Pretty please.

Of course if you prefer feed readers and have already subscribed to my blog's RSS feed, maybe you won't want to do this. That might be a little TOO much Dena.

As if...  ;)