The Time is NOW

I just got back from yoga class. It was just myself, the instructor, and one other woman. Before we began, my yoga instructor looked at the other woman and said, "Karen, show Dena your watch."

Karen said, "This is the most accurate watch in the world." Then she held out her left wrist on which rested a small silver watch with the word NOW inserted where the face of the watch would usually be.

She said she saw a similar watch in a catalog and just copied the idea. I love it. Being the type of person whose mind is always racing 10 minutes to 2 hours ahead of where I currently am, the watch would be a great reminder to focus on the now and remain present in the moment.  I'm going to see if I can dig up an old watch and create my own "most accurate watch in the world."

I can't wait for someone to ask me the time.

Dena

Christmas Card Lethargy

I have a bit of the bah-humbug spirit about me. That's why the day after Thanksgiving used to be my "I'll deal with Christmas today and today only" day. We would get up at 4 AM to hit the early bird sales and be home by 10 to set up the tree and decorate the house. I'd wrap presents in the early afternoon and spend the rest of the day addressing holiday cards to be mailed out on the first of December.  In short, I never had to go near a mall or store for the entire month of December and could enjoy the holidays pretty close to stress free.

Things have changed. We still hit the early bird specials this year, but we left the house at 5 instead of 4, and took a coffee/bagel break around 9:30 and didn't get home until almost noon. We put the tree up on Saturday and got the house ready, but I haven't even thought about addressing cards. I think I'm feeling ambivalent about the cost, what with the price of stamps and all. Plus, I'd like to include my marathon results in my holiday letter, so what's the point of getting them ready early?

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but we hit the after Thanksgiving sales for things we needed and so I haven't bought a single gift. (We only buy for our niece and nephews though, so one visit to a Toys-R-Us usually does the trick.) So it appears that this year I may have to enter the holiday season like a normal person would. So far it hasn't been too bad. My workload has finally slowed, so I feel like there is room to breath and maneuver. And so what if my card isn't the first one out the door. Who's keeping track anyway?

Not me.

You Can't Handle The Truth

I spoke to my sister today, comparing holiday notes. We got to talking about kids, as she has two young ones and my 6-year-old nephew had been with us for Thanksgiving. We discussed how kids always tell the truth.  My sister's husband frequently says that having children keeps him humble, as they are only all too eager to point out flaws or inconsistencies.

"I know what you mean," I told my sister. "At the table on Thanksgiving, Blair and I sat down with my nephew and my sister-in-law. My nephew looked around the table at everyone's plate before declaring (quite loudly), 'Aunt Dena has the most!'"

My sister burst out laughing. Since that amused her so much, I also shared with her the joke L. (my nephew) had made up. He's in that bad "I'll create my own joke phase" where he'll say things like, "Why did the peanut cross the road... to get to the cow!" And you're left standing there like, "Uh-huh. Funny."

So he'd been telling a few of these lame jokes and then he said, "Why did Uncle Blair kiss Aunt Dena?" And we all said, "I don't know. Why?" And he said, "I don't know either!!" It was actually quite funny.

I had L. help me make the pumpkin pie on Wednesday night. Since he'd helped make it, we thought he would want to eat it but he kept saying no. Finally we coaxed him into taking one small bite. His face immediately contorted and I knew what was coming.

"GROSS!" he said, sticking his tongue in and out as if hoping the air would cleanse it.

"Just say, 'Thank you, I don't care for any more,'" coached his mom.

"ACK!" said L., reaching for his water with one hand while clutching his throat with the other.  "Argh...blech, blech, blech."  Retching sounds commenced.

I do miss being that age and the honesty that comes with it. Honesty, but perhaps a lack of observation skills.

Anyone seated at that table could have told you that Uncle Blair had much more food than me.

Uncontrollable TV Crying

Does anyone else cry while watching reality TV? Last night I sat on the couch watching NBC's The Biggest Loser, bawling my eyes out. I hadn't seen the show in weeks, but I happened across it on the night of the makeovers. Everyone has lost 50-100 pounds at this point and they dressed them up and stood them in front of a mirror, behind which was hidden their spouse or loved one. After they'd admired themselves in the mirror, a door slid open and they were reunited with family they hadn't seen in 3 months.

How could you not cry?

This is a theme with me.  I will cry when Chef Ramsey finally makes friends with the horrible restaurant people who've been cursing him for 50 minutes of the show. I cry when one of the bratty girls is kicked off America's Next Top Model. I've even been known to sniffle at a particularly touching I Love Raymond or "very special episode" of Friends.

Crying isn't all bad. I am a FANTASTIC wedding guest. If you ever need a seat filler, I'm your girl. I will tear up and dab the corner of my eyes discreetly with a hanky at anyone's wedding, whether I'm acquainted with the bride and groom or not.

Oddly, beyond weddings, I'm not much of a real life crier. Maybe that's why I cry at bad TV.

The pain has to be released somewhere, people.