Bathroom Etiquette

Ladies, we need to talk.

Auntie Dena is here to listen to your woes and make you a better person. But you have to work with me on this. And many of you are working not for me but against me, specifically when it comes to bathroom etiquette. I apologize for my bluntness, but some of you out there are not getting the message, so let me be crystal clear:

WIPE THE SEAT OFF WHEN YOU'RE DONE PEEING.

It astounds me this is a behavior that must be pointed out to people. Are there really households out there where it's acceptable to leave a spray of urine across the seat for the next person to come across? I think not.

I understand what's going on, and I applaud your efforts. I too, squat and hover, thigh muscles clenching in protest as I beg my trembling legs to hold on for just a moment more as I scramble for toilet paper that has no beginning and no end, but rather just spins on its cylinder, never giving me a starting point to start ripping.

My derriere has not touched a public bathroom seat in the last twenty years. But if, after the hover, I find I have left a drop or two behind, I show common courtesy by WIPING IT UP. Yes, it's gross, but if I don't want to clean up after myself, I more than understand why the person after me would want to even less.

So show some decency, common courtesy, and what has to be considered pretty much the lowest baseline of manners, and wipe it up.

You're ticking the rest of us off.